newest episodes
This is the last episode of New View Advice podcast! This is truly the end of an era for me, and I am so grateful for every single person who has ever listened to this podcast. In this episode I share my gratitude, talk a bit about my decision to end of the podcast, and I offer my last 10 pieces of advice for the journey of healing, and also life in general.
In this episode, I dive into a listener’s question about feeling conflicted between being with someone special and embracing a period of independence.We’ll explore indecision, fear of the unknown, and the pressure to make the “right” choice.
In this episode about courage I discuss - What is courage? Why is courage important for the healing journey? Why do so many of us struggle to be courageous even though we know we want to be brave? What are some steps we can take towards courage today?
In this episode, I address the rarely discussed topic of woman-to-woman sexual assault. I respond to a listener who bravely shares her story of being sexually assaulted by a coworker she trusted and saw as a close friend and mentor. We explore the painful reality that sharing a similar cultural background does not guarantee safety. I also explain what grooming looks like in the workplace, outlining its key characteristics.
Feeling exhausted, disconnected, or unsure if your job is still right for you? You’re not alone. In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about burnout at work—what it really feels like, how to recognize the signs of burnout, and how to begin healing without rushing to quit.
In this episode, I answer the question: "Why do I cry every night ever since that one man broke my heart?" I explore five possible reasons the pain still lingers—grief, the stories we tell ourselves, the impact of toxic relationships, identity loss, and old wounds that heartbreak can reopen.
Grieving the end of a friendship that turned romantic? This week I answer a listener question about the grief and confusion that comes when a close friendship becomes romantic — and then ends. Whether you're experiencing a friendship breakup, a "friends-to-lovers" heartbreak, or navigating unspoken feelings, I offer compassionate advice to help you process the pain, find closure (even if it's one-sided), and validate your emotions.
In this episode, I respond to a listener struggling with limerence and intense infatuation for their best friend—a love that feels impossible and is tangled with self-hate, shame, and depression. We dive into the power of self-love, self-compassion, and curiosity, offering practical guidance for anyone caught in obsessive thoughts or fantasies.
In this episode, I dive deep into the emotions and challenges that arise when you don’t get along with your partner’s parents—especially when toxic and hurtful behavior is in play. I answer a listener question about a difficult first meeting with a partner’s mother. I share insights on how to process the pain, anger, and fear that surface in these situations.
In this episode, I open up about the painful journey of healing from sexual violence—especially the heartbreak of not seeing your rapist held accountable. As a fellow survivor, I share how I’ve navigated a world that often protects the “nice guy” and fails survivors. We talk about validating our emotions, reclaiming our voice, why justice and healing don’t always align, and how to keep choosing ourselves. I also share practical resources, tips for finding support, and ways to reconnect with purpose after trauma.
In this episode, I dive into the tough question of when to let go of a relationship, especially when addiction is involved. We explore how even culturally accepted addictions can impact a relationship and cause real harm. I respond to a listener’s question about loving a partner who won’t change, coping when your needs aren’t being met, and the painful tension between the good moments and ongoing hurt.
In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about healing after betrayal in a long-term relationship. A year and a half ago, this listener cheated on their girlfriend, and ever since, the relationship has been continued falling apart with no signs of improvement. We explore what it really takes to rebuild trust, how betrayal reshapes both people, and when letting go might be the most compassionate choice.
poems
There once was a mole
Who lived in the shadows.
It had a pointy nose,
In self-pity it wallowed.
You’ve haunted me for years.
I’ve seen you in the shadows.
I’ve tried to forget your face,
And how you hung me in the gallows.
I thought you should know
I see through your façade.
You’re not charming at all,
You’re really just a fraud.
I didn’t even know you
When you began spreading lies.
I didn’t even know your name
When you decided to tarnish mine.
I don’t care what you think of me
Or what you label wrong,
I don’t care how I “should” behave
I’ll just keep singing this song.
I sat alone in a tree
And looked on down,
At a world filled with chaos
And celebrity clowns.
While you forgot about me,
I saw your face everywhere I went.
While you lived your life,
I lived in flashbacks.
Do you live with regrets?
Cause I have quite a few,
One of them being
Spending time with you.
Hey, it’s so nice to see you
I’m not sure how long it’s been.
You look like you’re well
But do you have scars within?
I was just a little girl
When you broke my world.
I was just a small child
When you took away my wild.
I know you feel lost
And don’t know where to turn.
That’s why I light the road
With candles that burn
I love you.
You will not feel like this forever.
I am here for you.
I am not scared of you.
I hate that you’re small-minded
And refuse to see the truth,
That not everything around you
Is happening to you.
They domesticated me
They caught me in the wild.
They ravaged my body
When I was only a child.
To the sweetest one within,
Remember you are innocent.
You are not to blame,
And are truly magnificent.
Have you heard of the tale
Of the witch in the woods?
The one who only comes out
When God says she should?
You walked into my life
And I thought you were fantastic.
I think I accidentally
Placed you on a pedestal.
We played games,
We went back and forth,
One step forward, two steps back.
I thought we were equal
Please don’t come around here,
You’re not welcome at my door.
After years of torment,
I’ve decided I want no more.
They think they get it,
They really do.
They preach of knowledge,
And the “right” thing to do.
I peer through the screen,
And glance at your life.
It appears you’re the same.
Still beautiful.
I wade through the waters
Searching through the wreckage.
Where is my self-worth?
Have you seen it?
Hey there, do you remember me?
Or do I not even ring a bell?
I think about you all the time
Your face haunts my personal hell.
The devil knocked on my door,
He was wearing a disguise.
He looked like a handsome stranger,
One of those nice guys.
latest on the blog
These are 50 affirmations to assist you on the healing journey. You can pick one to work with, you can work with them all, or if none of these resonate, begin to think about what you do want to affirm about yourself and write your own!
Everyone wants to feel validated. It’s human nature to want to feel accepted by others. We all want to know that how we think, feel, and act is justified. We don’t want to feel crazy or alone. In the age of AI, instant validation is quite literally in the palm of our hand.
You're not failing at your healing journey. You're drowning in information overload. It’s no secret that healing is trending. With an abundance of resources combined with the accessibility of social media, there’s never been a better opportunity for personal growth. But healing isn’t a “gotta catch ‘em all” process.
Grounding is a very helpful practice that can support you throughout your healing journey. Grounding refers to techniques that help us reconnect with the present moment, especially when we feel anxious, overwhelmed, or triggered. It’s also useful when negative flashbacks, unwanted memories, or stressful thoughts arise.
The roller coaster of relationships in your 20s is quite the ride. As someone deep in my healing journey for almost five years, it’s been interesting to reflect on. From partners to family to friends, so much changes - including yourself.
Long-term grief - It’s been over 10 years since my dad died, and the grief is still present. This is how I would describe my grieving process after 12 years without him. Sometimes I think I understand the cycles of grief.
Attachment issues have been a popular interest in the healing space over the past several years. While it’s great that we’re now aware of the topic and its effect on our behavior, we seem to be reaching a counterintuitive level of awareness. They’ve almost become a part of our identity. Instead of using them to understand each other, we’re using them to remain misunderstood.
As a survivor of rape, I wrote these gentle affirmations to support your journey healing from sexual assault and rape. Healing takes time, self-love, and deep compassion. May these words remind you: you are worthy of feeling safe, loved, and powerful.
I have a big heart. I get my feelings hurt a lot. I care deeply. And that’s okay. I love my big heart and the way I love and care for others. But mixed in with that love is some clutter - things I sometimes disguise as sensitivity or kindness. People-pleasing. Approval-seeking. That kind of clutter.
Choosing our core values is a way to align our lives with what matters most to us. When we know our core values, we can make decisions that reflect who we are and who we want to become.
Worry is inevitable. Our minds latch onto problems the moment they arise, and before we can acknowledge it, we are spiraling into stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. A worry chart is a simple, quick & effective way to rewire the brain to respond differently to life’s challenges.
There was a point along my healing journey where I realized self-love was a very important missing piece. In a society that teaches us to be hard on ourselves, I came to understand that it was my responsibility to unlearn and re-teach myself. Our mothers and fathers were taught these beliefs, which were passed down - consciously or not.
“What am I doing with my life?”
My therapist smiles. “You ask this question every week. It’s too big. A life is a long time. It must feel stressful always worrying about this.”
She’s right. It does feel stressful, and also daunting. But then why can’t I let it go?
Let’s be honest, journaling can become a tedious task on the healing journey. Sometimes instead of helping, it becomes one more thing on the to-do list. This can feel stressful or overwhelming, which is the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.
I remember a time not too long ago where every single day I lived with deep anxiety, fear, regret and uncertainty. I often asked myself if I would feel this way forever. I asked people for their perspective, wondering if it was possible to go a full day without ruminating on thoughts or memories that pulled me down.
Choosing myself isn’t always the easy answer. It often feels like the toughest choice to make. I like helping others, and making others happy. Why should I choose myself? Isn’t that being selfish? But recently, someone told me - ‘how can you help others if you won’t help yourself first?’ The truth stung.
Let hard things soften you. Sometimes I think life tries to send us messages. Sometimes they come as gentle nudges, other times they hit like a freight train. If we ignore the subtle hints, they tend to come back louder and impossible to miss. Over the last year or so, one message has kept resurfacing for me: release control. It’s shown up in different ways, over and over again.
Currently, I am outgrowing who I thought I was. And let me tell you, it’s uncomfortable. What does it mean when you outgrow who you thought you were? When you outgrow who you thought you were, it means you’re growing and evolving from a version of yourself that no longer aligns with who you are becoming. It feels like people, goals, and daily routines no longer bring you the satisfaction or joy they once did.
Sometimes I have to remind myself: other people don’t determine my value - I do.
With the nature of my work, I spend a lot of time around people. Big groups, small groups, social settings of all kinds. And sometimes, I catch myself wondering if I fit in. If I’m good enough. If people even notice I'm there.
The other day on TikTok, I saw a video of a girl sitting in her car talking herself through the anxiety she felt about having to go to an event. I thought back to situations where I felt the same way and saw how I also tend to talk myself through these situations. I realized small actions can help us move through situations that trigger anxiety.
After that all I could think about was what happened to me when I was a teenager. It was clear I didn’t have a choice anymore. This part of me was not going anywhere. That’s how I found myself talking to a new therapist on a farm. I had chosen equine therapy for two reasons. One, I had heard that working with animals could help me to trust people again. And two, I thought I may be able to skip right over the speaking about the horrible thing that I labeled all my fault, and just ride horses.
Recently, I have found myself on the verge of burnout. Balancing work and personal responsibilities has felt overwhelming at times, as though I am neglecting myself in order to keep up with everyday tasks. Sometimes it feels like life has become less about living and more about keeping up with the piling responsibilities. Here are 7 Simple Ways to Manage Stress -
I was eighteen, and I would have sworn I was in love.
But, was love supposed to be inconsistent, painful, and confusing? And could I truly love someone else if I didn’t yet love myself?
I started dating my first boyfriend—let’s call him Calvin—when I was a senior in high school.
Welcome to this gentle guided meditation designed to help you release what no longer serves you and step into the energy of new beginnings. In this session, I’ll walk you through a calming process of letting go—whether it’s a thought, emotion, habit, or chapter of life—and then guide you in planting the seeds for a fresh start. Together, we’ll create space in your mind and heart for clarity, growth, and transformation.
There’s a cliché that says, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Lately, I’ve come to understand this in a new way.
Filling your cup is an art, and it looks different for everyone. For me, it’s a mix of alone time, quality moments with loved ones, play, fun, rest, movement and nourishing meals. It also means living more consciously - recognizing when I’m giving someone a heavy pour with no end in sight.
“Ma’am your bag will not fit in the overhead bins, you’ll have to check it.” Says an indifferent airline employee as I hand her my ticket to get on my flight from Los Angeles to Toronto.
“Are you sure?” I plead.
“Yes. Please step aside.” My palms are sweaty. My voice stammers. I feel a lump in my throat. My breathe becomes more and more shallow. This bag has to fit on this flight.
I’m at a point in my healing journey where I’m much more aware of things... painfully aware of things, sometimes. It’s a good thing to be aware - it shows me what needs to change - but it can also be deeply uncomfortable.
I notice when someone isn’t a good communicator. I see who struggles to hold themselves accountable. I can read between the lines of people’s words, actions, or lack thereof.
Welcome to this guided meditation for Energy Cleansing.
Whether you’re feeling weighed down by stress, negative energy, feeling disconnected, or simply seeking an energetic refresh, this guided meditation is here to support you. Through gentle guidance and intentional breathing, this practice is designed to help you release what no longer serves you and reconnect with a sense of clarity, peace, and inner balance.
Sometimes I think about what I could say if I had my past self in front of me. As I've grown, let go, healed, experienced new things: I think of how much of what I know now that I would love to teach her.
Welcome to this affirmation meditation for the healing journey.
Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or continuing your path toward emotional wellness, this short guided meditation is here to support you. Filled with healing affirmations, this practice is designed to help you affirm how you want to feel and cultivate self-love and inner peace.
offering A new view on age-old problems and traumas
reflections & stories
In the final episode of Season 1 of Reflections, I dive into the question I am most commonly asked - after everything I have survived, how do I still have faith? This story is about how leaning into faith helped me to survive my darkest days. I share the intimate story of grappling with suicidal thoughts and how an astonishing midnight miracle helped reignite my hope after the death of my close friend and sexual assault.
This week's reflection is about how I made everyone uncomfortable surviving sexual assault. The more I tried to talk about sexual violence, sexual assault, and rape, the more I felt shamed. As I reflect on my healing journey, I see clearly now how painful it was for people to be so uncomfortable with me and my story, and how I don't think that needs to be the case.
In this episode, I reflect on the bystander effect. What responsibility did the bystanders have to step in, speak up, or intervene when I was being raped? Throughout my healing journey, I have asked myself how can I trust people to do what's right after living through this experience.
This story is about betrayal by women after sexual assault. I speak of two women I felt betrayed by - one was the teenage girl who was with me the night I was raped, and the other was a spiritual leader who betrayed me when I went to her for help and healing. This story goes into the complexities and feelings of betrayal in the aftermath of sexual trauma.
This is a story about my experience survivor's guilt. I share how I suffered from survivor's guilt as I was healing from sexual violence and suicidal ideation. I share this story as an example of survivor's guilt and how I processed the intense feelings of guilt and unworthiness.
In the episode I share a poem about the healing journey, and especially my experience healing from fear. I wrote this poem when reflecting on how fear used to debilitate me, but overtime I have learned how to navigate the fears that arise.
In the episode I share a story about a time in my life when I was grappling with the horrors of sexual violence and my own near-death experience. During this time, I cross paths with another victim of sexual violence, but she was murdered at age 15. This story is in honor of Courtney Wilkes and the profound impact her life has had on me as a survivor of sexual trauma.
In this episode, I tell a story about an experience I had in high school where I was stalked and then stalked my stalker. I share this story because I judged myself and felt shame for this experience for a very long time. I now know, after years of healing, that this was a trauma response and I am not alone with feeling lost and insane in the aftermath of sexual trauma.
Welcome to Reflections, a New View Advice minisode series! Each week I read short stories from my own healing journey. This week I share a story about a time I got really really angry after finding out that one of the guys that raped me got engaged. I share this story as an inside look at what it can look like to heal from trauma and to hopefully help someone out there who may have intense feelings and not be sure if they are normal.