114: How to Be Comfortable with Physical Touch After Sexual Assault
In this episode I talk about how to become comfortable with physical touch after sexual assault. Many survivors of sexual trauma struggle with sex and being touched after sexual violence. In this episode I discuss the importance of being kind to yourself, how to practice awareness and listening to your body, and reconnecting to your body . My intention is to help you connect back with yourself while also assuring you that it's okay no matter where you are at on your journey. You are healing.
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Check out the Sexual Trauma Healing Hub 🩵
Check out the Healing from Sexual Trauma Hub for more resources for the healing journey
Recommended Episodes 🎙️
Episode 98: How to Support Survivors of Sexual Assault, Rape, & Sexual Trauma
Episode 78: Rebuilding Self-Worth After Sexual Assault & Rape
Timestamps ⏱️
Introduction: 0:15
Listener Question: 2:37
Outro: 28:27
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This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool called Castmagic. Please forgive any typos or errors.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:01]:
Welcome to New View Advice. I'm your host, Amanda Durocher, and I invite you to join me here each week as I offer advice on how to move through whatever problem or trauma is holding you back from living life to the fullest. Let's get started. Hey, beautiful soul. Welcome to New View Advice. My name is Amanda Durocher. And if you're new here, this is a healing centered advice podcast where I offer guidance for the healing journey. I don't believe I have all the answers you seek.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:24]:
I believe you have all the answers. You just may need a new view and a little help along the way. Thank you for joining me for today's episode. Today, I'm answering a listener question about how do we become comfortable with physical touch after sexual assault. I think this is a great question. I think that many survivors struggle with physical touch after sexual assault. I know that was true in my case. And I know it was true throughout my healing journey as well that there were times when it was harder for me to be touched than other times, especially when I was processing really difficult layers and memories from my sexual assault.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:53]:
In this episode, I'm going to discuss the importance of how we speak to ourselves and the importance of self compassion throughout this process. I'm also going to offer some suggestions on how to get back into your body, the importance of remaining aware and intentional throughout this process, and I'm going to talk about why patience with yourself is very, very important while learning to feel safe in your body again and connect back to physical touch. My hope for this episode is that you feel less alone on this journey of learning to become comfortable again with physical touch. I know for me, I felt really alone throughout this process when I was healing from sexual trauma, especially in my twenties. I found it really shameful how much I didn't wanna be touched, especially as my friends discussed their sex lives and things like that. I felt so ashamed that my body reacted so differently to physical touch. And so my hope is that throughout this episode, you learn that wherever you're at on your journey, it's okay, and you will not be there forever, and that your body is healing, and that is okay. That is what I hope you take from this episode is that wherever you are at is okay, and it will get better, and and things will change, and you will not be where you are forever.
Amanda Durocher [00:01:55]:
I know so many times throughout my journey, I wondered if I would be in this exact spot forever. And, no, we are always evolving and changing and healing. It just takes time, and, often, it is one day at a time. So with that, I just wanted to also mention before we jump into today's episode that if you haven't already, I invite you to check out my website, nuviadvice.com, where I have more resources for healing from sexual trauma. I have a sexual trauma hub with free resources as well as journal prompts, meditations, poems. I've also started a new series called Reflections where I share stories from my own journey healing from sexual violence. So you can find all that on my website at nuviaadvice.com. So with that, let's jump on into today's episode about physical touch after sexual assault.
Amanda Durocher [00:02:38]:
Dear Amanda, could you talk about how to be comfortable with touch after sexual assault? How do you commit your body to chill out when you know people are safe and yet your body tenses up every time someone touches you? Thank you so much for this question. This is a great question, and you're definitely not alone with struggling with physical touch after sexual violence. As I discussed in the intro to this episode, I too struggled with physical touch and feeling safe in my body for a really long time. And in complete transparency, there are still moments when my body reacts even when I know I'm safe. This often does with my headspace at the time of being touched. So there's moments when my partner, Evan, we've been together almost 14 years now, he'll touch my hip and I'll lean into it and I'll feel really good. And there's moments he'll touch my hip and my body will kind of do a jerky, jumpy reaction. And often, like I said, that does with wherever my head is at at the time.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:24]:
So if my thoughts are somewhere trauma related, I normally have more of that unsafe reaction. And if my thoughts are more grounded and present, then I tend to feel safe when that happens. And I mentioned that example up front here because I have found that the most important piece when it comes to becoming comfortable in our bodies again and comfortable with physical touch is to be kind to ourselves throughout this process. And I talk a lot about self compassion on the podcast, and I feel like people are like, yeah. Yeah. I get it. But what else? But I think what is oftentimes missed is that the way we speak to ourselves has the ability to create safety or unsafety within our bodies. So if we react in a quote unquote odd way to physical touch and we start judging ourselves, hating ourselves, saying harsh or cruel words to ourselves like, like, what's wrong with me? Or, oh my god.
Amanda Durocher [00:04:13]:
I can't believe that happened again. Oh, why do I keep doing that? Oh my gosh. You stupid person. Whatever your self talk is. That's example of my self talk. But if you say things like that to yourself, that is in no way going to help you feel comfortable with physical touch because our bodies react the way they do after sexual assault because our safety was taken from us when we were sexually assaulted. And our bodies and our minds and our human being is trying to bind that safety again as we are healing. And we are in a journey of learning how to feel safe again.
Amanda Durocher [00:04:49]:
Speaking to yourself in a kind and gentle manner as you go through this process is so important. Because what I find with so many trauma survivors is that they gaslight themselves. I know this is what I did for a really long time, and I can probably still be caught doing this. Let's be honest. Life is a journey. And what I mean by gaslighting yourself is that you tell yourself that what is happening in the moment is wrong or that you're overreacting or you're being overly dramatic. And I find with physical touch, that's one of the ways survivors can gaslight themselves and be cruel to themselves is that they tell themselves they're overreacting. Like, but my husband's a safe person or my partner is a safe person.
Amanda Durocher [00:05:26]:
Why am I reacting like this? And you're reacting like this because you experienced violence and your body is finding a sense of safety again. And that trauma that you experienced is living in the body. So even if you're with a safe person, your body may not feel safe. That will be for various reasons. And for me, what I find is oftentimes it does with my head space. And so as you are embracing your comfortability with physical touch again, it's so important to tell yourself that however you react in the moment is okay. It's a trauma response. And back to that gaslighting ourselves is that trauma responses come off really funky.
Amanda Durocher [00:06:02]:
Like how I said sometimes Evan will touch me and my body will do a jerky reaction. That will happen. Sometimes we'll be in bed and Evan will go to cuddle, and my body will just, like, kind of freak out. Sometimes it won't, and sometimes it will. And what I've learned is that it doesn't do that as much when I am kind to myself in those moments. Because in that moment, my body is releasing something or it is reacting, and that is okay. And so it's really important to be kind to yourself and how we are kind to ourselves that we tell ourselves it's okay. We reassure ourselves that there's nothing wrong with us.
Amanda Durocher [00:06:37]:
We don't judge ourselves because we have experienced trauma, because we have experienced violence, and this is the aftermath. It's okay. And especially if you're with a safe person, that safety with that other person has created by them not judging you as well and them honoring wherever your body is at in the moment. And so as we're becoming comfortable with physical touch again, it's really important to allow yourself to have boundaries. And so as you are kind to yourself, you can ask yourself, what do I need right now? Do you need to set a boundary with this person? Do you need to set a boundary with people in general? I go through periods of time where I can't give anybody a hug. It's just a boundary I sometimes have. But it's not like this harsh boundary that I'm never gonna hug anybody ever again. But when I'm going through a really hard moment of my healing journey, for example, this summer, I was healing from the layer of my sexual violent assault where I was strangled, and I didn't want anybody to touch me.
Amanda Durocher [00:07:30]:
I didn't wanna be touched at all, and I was vocal about that. My partner understood that. When people wanted to give me a hug, I asked if it was okay if we didn't hug. And people can be a little, like, surprised by that, but nobody was ever offended. And it was just really important for me to create the safety I needed. And now if somebody asks for a hug, I'm in a phase where I can give people a hug. But I give that example because it's important to allow yourself what you need in the moment and understand that that will ebb and flow. So sometimes you'll have to have more boundaries.
Amanda Durocher [00:08:00]:
So if you have a husband or a partner or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, there will be moments where you may not want to engage in physical activity or physical touch or sex, and that's gonna have to be okay. You know, I found with Evan, our relationship has ebbed and flowed in the physical touch area. And for a long time, it was really, really hard for me to voice those boundaries. I felt so much shame, so much guilt, so much self hatred that I couldn't be a sexual person for a really long time. And so I would try and engage physically, and my body would not react well. It did not like being forced into sexual situations it didn't wanna be in. And the more I voiced that to Evan and I stated boundaries and I said, I'm not up for this and I used my voice, Evan was always okay with that. He just needed me to articulate what I needed.
Amanda Durocher [00:08:47]:
And when I did, my body began to relax. My body began to feel safer because I was no longer forcing it into situations it didn't wanna be in. But the more I forced my body into situations it didn't wanna be in, the more my body reacted. And sometimes, also with that boundary thing, there are certain people I meet that I do not wanna hug or I do not even wanna shake their hand. And I've had to learn that that's okay. That might make them uncomfortable, but my body is communicating what it needs, and my priority in my life is to create safety within myself. And as a survivor of sexual violence and extreme violence as well, it's really, really important for me to listen to my body. So it's important to be kind to yourself, to practice those boundaries, and now we wanna talk about listening to your body.
Amanda Durocher [00:09:33]:
And so when you find you have a strong reaction to a safe person, so say your husband puts his hands on your back and your body has a trauma response, it maybe jerks or it maybe caves in on itself. Whatever happens for you, maybe you go into a freeze response. It's important for you to become aware of what is happening in the moment. So I have found throughout my healing journey that in order to become comfortable with physical touch, I've had to be with what is happening in the moment. And oftentimes, I am being triggered, and many times, I'm taken back to my sexual assault. And I think that's why so many people don't slow down when they have a trigger is because they don't wanna go back to that place. But I've found that it's important to allow that up in the moment. And so it's important to slow down and see why I was triggered.
Amanda Durocher [00:10:23]:
Sometimes I can't exactly pinpoint it. But other times, specifically during sexual acts, to be completely honest, I'll have flashbacks to what happened to me. Not always. This doesn't always happen. But throughout the past 10 years of my relationship with my partner, I have had moments where I start sobbing in the middle of sex, and I share this because I've had this conversation with many people. I'm not the only one to go through this. And I have to allow myself to go through that healing journey. It's almost like your body relaxes and is enjoying itself, which allows a trigger to come up or allows a layer of the trauma to come up.
Amanda Durocher [00:10:59]:
And so that's why I say the self talk is so important because you wanna be kind to yourself when these triggers arise. So that's an example of during sex. But say you're just in your kitchen and your husband touches your lower back, your partner, your wife touches your lower back and your body jerks, it's important to begin becoming aware of why you reacted to that. So as I mentioned, I find it usually does with my headspace. So if I'm in a fearful headspace or if I'm in the middle of a PTSD flashback that I'm not even always aware of. Right? Sometimes we're just somewhere else, and then that will bring me back, but my body will jerk. It's important to become aware of what's happening in the moment, I guess, is what I'm trying to say, is that when you find your body is reacting, it's important to slow down and listen to your body. Why does it feel unsafe? Because it's not reacting because you are unsafe.
Amanda Durocher [00:11:49]:
It's reacting because it thinks it's unsafe. So it either could do with where your thoughts are at the time. The type of touch could be something that was part of your assault, or it could take you by surprise and say you tend to be hypervigilant. Hypervigilance is a common trauma response where you're aware of your surroundings all the time. You're aware of where everybody is. You're hypervigilant. You're over analyzing the space. And I find when I'm at home with just my partner, my hyper vigilance tends to calm down a bit, but I can have a stronger reaction when Evan does something I don't expect.
Amanda Durocher [00:12:21]:
For example, I'll be in my office by myself, and Evan will knock on the door, which is a common thing to do, which is a normal thing to do, but I wasn't expecting it and my whole body will jump because I wasn't expecting it and I'm so used to expecting everybody's movements. So it's important when connecting back to yourself and learning how to be comfortable with physical touch again to become aware of why you react the way you do. Because these are all trauma responses, but there are reasons behind them, and they're gonna be individual for each person. And so part of this process is becoming aware of your triggers and aware of why you react to the way you do. And as you do that, you are being kind to yourself as we discussed at the beginning of this question because that self kindness is going to help you to be honest with yourself and to see that there's nothing wrong with you. You're not having a bad reaction or an overreaction. You are having a trauma response which is rooted in truth within your body. So that takes time and it's a practice, but I found that when I react that way, right, when my body reacts even though I'm safe, it's important for me to be kind to myself, slow down, state any boundaries I may need, and to become aware of what's happening.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:31]:
And if you are struggling over and over again to become aware, I really invite you to set an intention. So for me, when I first started healing from sexual assault, my intention was I want to enjoy sex. When I was in my early twenties, I had so much shame around the fact that I did not enjoy sex. I didn't understand why because I hadn't looked at the amount of trauma I had experienced. But I would check out during sex. I would freeze, and sometimes I didn't even remember it. Like, I would fully dissociate, and I knew that wasn't normal. And I hated myself for it, in all honesty.
Amanda Durocher [00:14:00]:
I had full self hatred. And so I set the intention to understand why my body reacted that way, And that sent me on this long healing journey, to be completely honest. I set an intention, and I find when we actually set an intention, there's real power behind that intention. And that intention may not come to be overnight, but it will set us down the path of healing. And that's why I mentioned that here is because I really think the healing journey is all about intention and setting the intention over and over again to continue to heal, to continue to connect back to ourselves, to continue to connect back to our hearts, and to continue to let go of the things that are keeping us from being who we desire to be. I believe as trauma survivors, we are some of the strongest people I've ever met. We're truly resilient, but we don't know it. Trauma survivors tell themselves all these really sad stories because we react differently than the rest of the world.
Amanda Durocher [00:14:54]:
So as I mentioned, it was really shameful for me in my twenties that all my friends were talking about sex and enjoying their sex lives and meeting guys and going on dates, and I was frozen. I had so much shame around sex. I lived with what was this secret. I couldn't tell anybody that my sex life wasn't magnificent or super passionate, and that instead it was traumatizing. And it felt like something I had to do, not something I wanted to do, but I desired to feel like how all my friends did. I knew that I desired to have sex, but it freaking terrified me, which makes sense. I was sexually assaulted in my youth, and then I was getting raped in my teens. Why would I ever wanna have sex again? And, of course, it's been a journey to connect back to sex and to physical touch because to be honest with your question, I don't know if you wanted to dive into sex or if you just meant handshakes and hugs.
Amanda Durocher [00:15:44]:
So I'm trying to touch on a little bit of all of it with this question. So I do apologize if you weren't actually talking about sex with your answer, but I did find sex just to be such a shameful thing when healing from sexual assault, how my body reacted with sex. And I had people make some really insensitive comments throughout my healing journey. For example, when I was beginning to heal from sexual assault and I was seeing how devastating it was on my life to be sexually assaulted, I had a therapist tell me and Evan that we should play out rape fantasies, and that would help me to enjoy physical touch again. Was that, oh, if you were sexually assaulted, you should just play out rape fantasies, and then you'll enjoy physical touch. That is not the advice I'm giving you. If anybody gives you that advice, run from that professional. That is the worst advice I have ever heard.
Amanda Durocher [00:16:24]:
And I share that because in this episode, I'm trying to be really honest with you about my own journey because I just found I got a lot of bad advice along the way. And people really don't understand what it's like to be traumatized. And that's what I'm realizing over and over again is that just most of society is not trauma informed, and we can't force society to be trauma informed. But what we can do is become informed about ourselves. And that's where this awareness and this intention becomes important is because you want to understand you. The rest of the world may not understand why you react the way you do, but if you understand why you react the way you do and why your body reacts to physical touch the way it does, you will no longer judge yourself. And so it's really important to begin becoming aware. And so bringing awareness to your body is really important.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:07]:
And if you struggle to be aware of your body or to listen to your body or to feel like your body's communicating with you, My guess is that you're a bit disconnected from your body. You could be a bit dissociated or you could just check out or maybe you tend to numb. A lot of people use drugs and alcohol as ways to kinda check out from the body. And we do this because when we're trauma survivors, we have a lot of difficult feelings living in the body. And I mentioned this here because part of feeling comfortable again with physical touch is getting in your body and connecting back to your body because you want to create safety within your body. And how we create safety within the body is to get in the body. But so many people are avoiding being in their body because that's where all the hard feelings are. And so I find not even just sexual violence survivors, but people in general who are stressed and live in the stress response tend to not be connected to their body.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:58]:
So part of healing and becoming comfortable with physical touch will actually require you to get in your body. So some of my favorite ways to connect back to yourself and back into your body and to create that safety within the body include yoga. Yoga is one of the most helpful ways to move some of that energy that becomes stuck in the body without having to sit and process it. I find that through a yoga class, something will move without me having to bring that awareness to it. Many times I set the intention to move whatever no longer serves me. And yoga, honestly, a lot of times makes me cry, but it's therapeutic, and so many trauma survivors find yoga helpful. There are many books on the benefits of yoga for trauma survivors. One book I really liked was The Courage to Rise by Liz Arch, and she talks about how yoga is really helpful for trauma survivors.
Amanda Durocher [00:18:50]:
And I'll also link a specific book I have that, I'm so sorry, I can't remember the author, but it's about different yoga poses for survivors of sexual assault. And I'll link those on my website at nuviaadvice.com/114. Another practice for getting in the body that I found really helpful is weight training. I think different forms of exercise. I think for everybody, it's going to be different. I have another friend who goes for run every day, and she finds that really helps her get in the body where, for me, personally, running keeps me in my head. So I like to run, but it's not what gets me into my body when I feel ungrounded. And for me, it's weight training.
Amanda Durocher [00:19:22]:
So I love doing squats, push ups, things that really get me connected to the earth, counting, being really intentional and really present really has helped me to connect back to my body and to feel safe in my body. And the benefit of weight training I found is that the stronger I get, the safer I truly feel. Do I think I could beat somebody up? No. I don't. But there's something about how it does help my self esteem to actually become stronger in my body, which has helped me to feel safer on a day to day basis. And the safer I feel, the more comfortable I am with physical touch. Because what I found over and over again is that not wanting to be touched goes back to not feeling safe in that moment. And for me, as I mentioned, even if a safe person's around, my thoughts may not be a safe place at the time, so my body doesn't feel safe.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:09]:
And so I find that the importance of connecting back to the body is creating safety within the body. Other ways to connect back to the body include meditations. You can try sound healings. I find that during sound healings, I'm not always present in my body in that moment, but afterwards, I can feel really connected to my body. You can also look up different grounding techniques. One of my favorite grounding techniques that I like to use in the moment if I catch myself feeling ungrounded is I find intentional breathing to be really helpful. So box breathing, I like to do 4 breaths in, you hold for 4, 4 breaths out, then you hold for 4. And continuing to do that will help you to come back to the present moment.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:47]:
I also really like the 54321 technique, which involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 you can taste. So what this does is it connects you to your senses and you ground back into the present moment. But creating safety in the body is really important when healing from sexual trauma and becoming comfortable again with physical touch. And so another thing I think is important here when talking about connecting back to your body is to talk about self pleasure and self touch. Because I found on my own healing journey that it was important for me to rediscover what felt good for me on my own before I invited in a partner or at the same time, if that makes sense. So I think that it's important when healing from sexual trauma to allow your self the space and the time to get to know your own body. I know that self pleasure or masturbation is a taboo topic still, I think. But I actually think it's really important.
Amanda Durocher [00:21:49]:
And I share this because I personally found in my own journey that the more comfortable I became with my own body and not feeling like my own body was shameful and allowing my hands to touch places that were trauma ridden for a really long time helped to alleviate that anxiety, helped to alleviate that terror that would arise when I was with a partner. I had to allow myself to connect back to my body, to understand that my body is not shameful. My boobs are not shameful. My vagina is not shameful. But that took time, and there were times that I would feel so much shame in my body being aroused. Like, I would shame myself if I had any sexual desire because it was so confused with sexual assault. My body didn't know how to feel. It wanted to want sexual pleasure, and then it also berated me for wanting sexual pleasure because my mind then would immediately go to being raped.
Amanda Durocher [00:22:39]:
So it was so confusing. And one of the ways I was able to start separating those 2, separating rape and sex, because they are 2 separate acts. They are different. But we blend them in our mind because at the end of the day, it's a similar act. Right? But it's not at the same time. And if you're a survivor, you understand that it's not the same thing at all. But they become blended, and so we want to unblend them, to unwind these two pieces. And I found that getting comfortable with my own body and no longer judging my own body, no longer judging myself for what I found pleasurable was an important part of embracing physical touch with a partner.
Amanda Durocher [00:23:16]:
So I had to go through that process for a little bit by myself and figure out what I liked before inviting somebody else in because that was just part of my process. So I mentioned that here in case somebody feels shame around their own body, and I invite you to be kind to yourself, be kind to your body. It's your body. You have one of them in this lifetime. The body you have right now is yours. It is what is with you from the second you are born to the second you die. Your body and you are on a journey of becoming best friends. That's how I view it, is that our body has experienced a horrible crime, and it needs our love.
Amanda Durocher [00:23:49]:
And most people in this world really do not love their bodies, and it makes me so sad. The more I've learned to love my body is that part of healing our relationship with our body is healing the trauma it's experienced, but also understanding that there's a lot of societal messages mixed in there too around how we should look, how we should feel. Maybe your body was shamed in other ways as well. Too big, too small, too this, too that. And part of healing our relationship with our body and becoming comfortable with physical touch really is healing all these different layers. They all get mixed up together like a big ball of yarn, and we have to unravel them once at a time. That's why it's important to become intentional with your healing and also to become aware of what's happening in the moment because the answer may surprise you. You know, it may not be the answer you think it is.
Amanda Durocher [00:24:33]:
So it's important to slow down, connect back to yourself, be kind to yourself, and to become aware of what's happening in every moment. And we do this by creating safety in the body and by taking care of ourselves and treating ourselves like our own best friend and treating our body like it's our best friend. Because to anybody out there who has shamed their body or had somebody else shame your body or has experienced violence in your body or experienced anything horrible with your body, I wanna say I am so sorry. You did not deserve that. I'm gonna repeat it because I don't think everybody understands that fully. You did not deserve the cruel words someone else or yourself has said to your body. You did not deserve the cruel actions done to your body. You did not deserve to be sexually assaulted.
Amanda Durocher [00:25:17]:
Your body did not deserve to go through any horrors it's been through, and it also did not deserve to be talked to in any cruel ways. Your body is beautiful no matter what size it is. Your body is beautiful no matter what it's been through. Your body is beautiful. Your body loves you. And these trauma responses and these knee jerk reactions is how they feel to being touched is not your body trying to punish you. It's trying to keep you safe. How beautiful.
Amanda Durocher [00:25:47]:
In a world where so many people do not prioritize each other's safety, how beautiful that you have a body that wants to keep you safe. That's again why it's important to be kind to your body because your body is not trying to punish you. It's trying to communicate with you, and it's trying to keep you safe, and it's trying to protect you. What a gift. And so the kinder we are and the more patient we are, the easier this process becomes. And this leads me to my last piece of advice, which is please, please be patient with yourself. Most people who haven't even experienced sexual violence are not kind to their bodies, have trauma in their bodies, check out of their bodies, do not like their bodies. We live in a society that has not taught us how to love our bodies.
Amanda Durocher [00:26:33]:
And the journey of connecting back to your body and being comfortable with physical touch, I have found, is a journey of being kind, patient with yourself, and learning to love your body. Because the more you love your body, the more you will listen to your body, the more you'll be kind to your body, and the more you will embrace that physical touch, and you will know when you want it and when it feels good and when it's exactly what your body's asking for, and the more you will know how to state those boundaries when it's not what you are looking for. And both are important for healing, to know when you want it and when you don't. Because part of healing from sexual assault is learning how to use your voice again and understanding that you have a choice of being touched, and you have a choice of when you don't wanna be touched and giving consent and not giving consent. And that's the importance of those boundaries. I didn't mention that in that section, but it's understanding that you have the right to say what you want and what you don't want. And this can be really hard for people who especially are people pleasers or tend to cave in on themselves and just go about the world and try and say what they think everybody else wants to hear. But it's really empowering to take your voice back and to understand that you get to state what you want and what you don't want.
Amanda Durocher [00:27:39]:
And it doesn't matter if it makes anybody comfortable or uncomfortable as long as you are making you comfortable. And one day you may like being touched one way, and the next day you may not like that, and that is okay. Please do not judge yourself. Be patient with yourself. Your body has experienced something that was horrible if you have experienced sexual violence. And, again, I am so sorry. Nobody deserves to be violated because that's what sexual assault is. You were violated, and you experienced something very unsafe and violent, and it takes time to heal from.
Amanda Durocher [00:28:10]:
So please, please be patient with yourself. Offer yourself love and compassion. Tell yourself that there's nothing wrong with you. You are just on a journey, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are many people who are on the same journey too, and we're all learning how to connect back to ourselves. So thank you so much for this question. I hope something in this answer was helpful. Thank you for joining me for another episode of New View Advice.
Amanda Durocher [00:28:35]:
As always, I'm so grateful to have a space here to talk about healing and especially healing from assault. It's a topic I'm so passionate about as a survivor myself. If you haven't already, I invite you to check out my new series, reflections. I have uploaded 5 episodes so far where I share stories and writings from my own healing journey. These are stories that my heart has just needed to tell. I didn't realize how much these stories felt like burdens, but each story I tell, I feel like I am unburdening myself. So thank you to everybody who listens because it's truly been so healing for me to share these stories, more so than I expected. So I am just so grateful to have a space and a platform of people who are supportive and enjoy hearing about my healing journey.
Amanda Durocher [00:29:16]:
So thank you again for joining me for another episode of New View Advice. As always, I hope I was able to offer you a new view on whatever you may be going through. Send you all my love. See you next time.
