The Words I Never Said
Hey, it’s so nice to see you
I’m not sure how long it’s been.
You look like you’re well
But do you have scars within?
I know it’s been a lifetime
Since we had a conversation,
But I wanted to reach out
Cause I owe you an explanation.
You see I’ve been reflecting
And making amends,
And forgiving myself
For being a bad friend.
And as I make peace
You often come to mind,
Because I still feel shame
For leaving you behind.
In my youngest years
You were my best friend,
And I still sit here and weep
About how it came to an end.
At the time I chose me
And I didn’t say goodbye,
I stopped coming around,
No longer your trusted ally.
But I had to save myself
From the demonic hunt,
Where they ravaged our bodies
For their own selfish fun.
They took away our innocence
When we were only little girls.
They took away our bond
By destroying our worlds.
I still live with nightmares
Over what we survived.
Are you still haunted too
Or have you left it behind?
If I could go back in time
I’d find a way to save you,
Where we escape together
And start life anew.
Maybe we’d run away
And make it on our own,
Jumping on trains
And finding a new home.
Or maybe we’d hide
And live in the forest,
And come out at eighteen
Being too old to torment
But those are just dreams
To cover up my shame,
That all you endured
I am somehow to blame,
For not doing more
And leaving you there.
I am so very sorry
None of it was fair.
Is it selfish of me
To get this off my chest?
Now that I remember
And it’s no longer repressed?
I wish I could say more
And I could change the past,
But we both know I can’t
Too much time has passed.
But for me to move forward
I just need you to know,
That I really did love you
And we both deserved more.
I also want to be clear
That you were always enough,
It was never about you
It was all the other stuff.
If you want to reconnect
My door is always open,
But I also understand
If you’d prefer this all unspoken.
I do hope in the next life
You and I meet again,
And our lives are different
And we get to be friends.
Written by Amanda Durocher
7.30.25