Navigating Relationships in My Late 20s
The roller coaster of relationships in your 20s is quite the ride. As someone deep in my healing journey for almost five years, it’s been interesting to reflect on. From partners to family to friends, so much changes - including yourself.
People change a lot throughout life - some more than others. As someone who’s done plenty of inner work since my mid-20s, the shifts in my relationships (for better and worse) have been eye-opening.
This is what navigating relationships has looked like for me as someone in my late 20s, and as someone who’s been on a healing journey for almost five years:
Family
I grew up with a close family. Things changed when my dad got sick and eventually passed away. Dynamics shifted and trauma played a big role. I stayed close with my mom for a while, but in my early 20s, we started to clash. The more I discovered about myself, including my needs and boundaries, the more tension grew between us. I wanted understanding from her but felt like I kept hitting walls. We were repeating the same conflicting patterns again and again. I also experienced struggles with closeness to my brother, different problematic patterns, same lonely outcome.
Now, at 29, things can still be rocky, but I understand them better. I’ve learned to stop trying to change them - that’s out of my control. Accepting them as they are has made things smoother. When I show up differently, the patterns naturally shift. I might not have the closeness I once hoped for, but I do have more clarity, peace, and love - even if space is sometimes necessary.
Partners
I’ve been in an 11-year relationship with my now husband. He’s really been my only partner in life. The amount of growth and change in our relationship has been substantial. Being on my healing journey and witnessing those changes has been a beautiful thing. There was once a time, long ago, when I wasn’t sure we’d make it. We played the same patterns over and over. Changes needed to be made. I was the first to point out what should change, but neither of us was actually changing.
Starting my healing journey, like with my family, allowed me to see him in a new light. I see and understand him deeper. I show up differently, which has disrupted old patterns.
Even though he’s not the one diving into therapy or self-help content as often as I am, the ripple effect is real. Healing myself has created a safer, more loving environment for both of us. Our relationship now has a level of communication, patience, and understanding we didn’t have five years ago.
Friendships
Friendships in my 20s have shifted just as much. I’ve made new ones, evolved with some, and let others go. As I’ve grown, I’ve opened space for deeper connections - though not everyone meets me at the same depth, which can admittedly be hard at times.
I’ve realized not every friend will check every box of what my “dream friend” would have. Some are emotional and deep; others simply show up and make life lighter. I’ve learned to love people for who they are, not how I wish they’d express their care. Some love through words, others through time spent together, and that’s okay!
I can’t combine everyone’s best qualities into one “super-friend.” What matters is having good, genuine humans around me.
To Sum It Up
Being on this healing journey has brought joy, challenges, and everything in between. Trust me, things still feel really messy sometimes. But at 29, I feel more equipped for the constant shifts in life and relationships - the beautiful and the painful ones alike. Healing hasn’t made things perfect, but it’s made me stronger, clearer, and more grounded in love.
