Father Wound Journal Prompts
This is a list of journal prompts to assist with episode 66: The Father Wound (or Daddy Issues): How to Heal from Absent Fathers and Emotionally Unavailable Fathers (& Fatherly Caregivers).
Journal Prompts:
Bring Awareness to the Father Wound
What is your current relationship with your father? Allow yourself to free-write about this relationship. This could be about your past or current relationship. Do not filter yourself, be honest about how you truly feel about your father.
Has your relationship with your father changed over time? If so, why? How does this make you feel?
What is your father’s role in your family’s dynamic? Is he the breadwinner? The disciplinarian? The caretaker?
To learn more about family roles, listen to Episode 43: Family Dynamics & The Holidays: How to Set Boundaries & Prioritize Yourself (Part 2)
Are you aware of any ways in which your father wound has manifested in your adult life? Take some time to think about how you feel impacted by your relationship with your father. For example, do you fear trying new things, fear failure, or find yourself for external validation? The goal is to identify these patterns so that you can begin to heal them, not to blame your father.
Did you feel provided for by your father? Why or why not? What impact did this have on you?
Did you feel protected by your father? Why or why not? What impact did this have on you?
Did you feel like you were good enough for your father growing up? If so, how did he show you this? If not, in what ways did your relationship with your father leave you feeling not enough, unworthy, or any other feelings that may arise.
Was your father absent throughout your childhood? This can include being physically absent or emotionally absent. How did it feel to have a father who was absent? Did it hurt? Create anger? Resentment? Explore how it felt to you to have an absent father. If any memories arise, write those down as well.
Was your father emotionally available or unavailable? Did you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with him? Did he have a healthy or unhealthy relationship with his own emotions?
Imagine a perfect relationship with your father. What would it look like? How would you feel? How would he show up in the relationship? Explore what you wish this relationship looked like. When you are done journalling, read this back to yourself and ask yourself how you can show up for yourself more like the father you wish you had. For example, as an adult are you now able to offer yourself the words of affirmation you wish you received from your father?
What is an expectation of your father that you are ready to let go of?
Do you feel any resentment towards your father? Or do you feel any resentment towards your mother for the way your father treated you? What would it take for you to let this resentment go?
Write a letter to your father telling him all the things you wish he knew about you. Allow yourself to free-write, you do not need to send this letter, this is a chance for you to be honest with everything you wish you could tell him. After you write this letter, I invite you to offer it to Mother Earth. You can bury it or throw it in a river. Allow Mother Earth to be a loving presence for you as you heal this relationship with your father.
Witness Your Inner Child
When you were a child, how did your father make you feel? What emotions arise? As a child, did you feel angry, sad, lonely, scared, unloved, unseen, unsafe, unheard, or another emotion? Write down all of the hard feelings and don’t hold back. Your inner child deserves for all their feelings to be witnessed and honored. These feelings don’t need to feel “rational” to your adult self.
Think about a time in your childhood when your father didn’t show up as you wanted him to? Allow yourself to explore this. How old were you? What happened? What did you want to happen vs what actually happened?
Based on the way your father treated you as a child, did your child self develop any beliefs about yourself or the world that currently impact your adult life?
If anything else comes to mind, write it in your journal and just let your pen flow. You may go completely off topic when you start journaling and that’s okay! Trust that whatever comes up when you start writing is what you are meant to journal about. When you are done writing, take a few moments to reread what you wrote and see if you learned anything new about yourself.
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