142: The Final Episode of New View Advice
This is the last episode of New View Advice podcast! This is truly the end of an era for me, and I am so grateful for every single person who has ever listened to this podcast. In this episode I share my gratitude, talk a bit about my decision to end of the podcast, and I offer my last 10 pieces of advice for the journey of healing, and also life in general.
How to Connect with Me Moving Forward ✍️
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Timestamps ⏱️
Introduction - 0:00
What to Expect Moving Forward - 5:07
My 10 Pieces of Advice - 13:04
Outro - 20:15
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This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool called Castmagic. Please forgive any typos or errors.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:01]:
Welcome to New View Advice with Amanda Durocher. Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome to the last episode of New View Advice. This is the end of an era, and I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has listened throughout the years, to everyone who's been on this journey with me. If you have been here from the beginning, if you joined in the middle, or if you've just discovered me, or even if this is in the future and you discovered me after I stopped, then thank you so much. Thank you so much for engaging with my content. Thank you so much for listening and for taking the time out of your day and your week to join me in these conversations. I'm just very, very grateful for the chance and the opportunity to do NewView advice.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:40]:
It's really been an honor and a privilege to answer so many listener questions throughout this journey. New View Advice has been so healing for my own heart. Truthfully, I didn't really know what I was doing when I started NU Advice. I was pretty compelled to start an advice podcast. I did not know why, but I got that lightning strike of creativity of an idea and I ran with it. And I'm so grateful I did because I have changed so much throughout this journey. If you've been with me from the beginning, I hope it's clear throughout these episodes how much I have changed. If not, I can promise you I've changed.
Amanda Durocher [00:01:13]:
And truthfully, this podcast has connected me back to my own heart, and I hope I have helped others to connect back to their hearts as well. Because I said it in the trailer to the podcast way back in the day, and I'll say it again now, but sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees, but there really is a way out. I've been reflecting on my healing journey and it's really felt like navigating a maze. Like I have been finding my way out of a maze. And on the way I find different pieces of myself. As I've talked about in many episodes, one of the reasons I started this podcast is that I suffered from repressed trauma, and I hadn't heard many people talk about that. But recently, a couple weeks ago, what sparked me ending the podcast, to be fully honest, is I had another memory come back and it was like the missing piece of a puzzle. And it was so incredibly painful for this memory to come back, but it was also so incredibly liberating.
Amanda Durocher [00:02:10]:
It held the keys to what I was looking for. And those things were clarity, confidence, and freedom from just feeling bad inside, just feeling like a bad person. I just couldn't shake it. I have all the tools. I kept moving through my layers. I kept bringing awareness. And it wasn't until I was ready to see this, to remember this, that it came forward. And when it did, I feel like I finally found my way out of this maze.
Amanda Durocher [00:02:37]:
I feel like I finally was able to put this whole puzzle together that took me so many years. It took me about a decade to see it clearly. With that liberating feeling. A lot's changed. I've been feeling drawn to new things. To be honest, I had the realization like last week that new view advice just doesn't get me out of bed anymore. It's not like the thing that drives my day forward. It used to be such a driving factor.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:00]:
It used to bring me such purpose. And I just haven't been feeling that as much anymore. And I kept asking myself, why is that? Why is that? Is there a way to bring this arc back? What is it for me? And the next day I woke up and it was like lightning. I don't know how to describe it. I'm addicted to creativity. I can't explain it, but it was like lightning. And this new idea came in and I am obsessed with it. I haven't been obsessed with something in a really long time.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:26]:
It feels so good. And with that, when that happened, I was like, oh, can I do newview advice and this idea? And the truth is, no, I don't have the capacity for both. And I gotta run with this new idea. It was kinda like when newview advice came in, except it was funny. When needed advice came in, I was terrified. I ran from my purpose. I ran back and forth. Should I do it? Should I not do it? So many times, this new idea, I'm just in an entirely new place where I'm like, heck yes, let's go on this journey.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:50]:
I'm so freaking excited. It's so outside my zone. It's something I don't have to say what it is, cuz it's just for me right now, which is one of my favorite phases of creativity, I realize sometimes I share too soon and then the thing doesn't end up being what it I thought it was going to be. And then I don't like that. So I don't share too early about creativity. If anybody's creative out there, keep it in your own little nest is how I'm doing it. You're like the mama bird or the baby bird. That's your creativity.
Amanda Durocher [00:04:14]:
Just keep it to yourself as long as you need and so anyway, this idea came, struck like lightning. I'm obsessed. It's so different. It's something I've never even thought of doing before. But it combines all these other ideas I had that were, like, circling in my head. Anyway, super excited. But with that, it's time for me to close this chapter. You know, I was talking to Evan, he was like, do you have to, like, close it? Maybe you can leave it open.
Amanda Durocher [00:04:38]:
And it's like, I mean, it doesn't work that way. I gotta close the door. I gotta close the chapters. I just like things to feel really clean. And truthfully, I feel like over the past couple months, I've been really struggling to create episodes. And that always leaves me feeling a little guilty for the community and for everybody who listens, because I do want to create episodes and I wanted to create that space where we can heal together, but I've just been struggling. And so that's just my really long winded way of saying that this is the last episode of NewView Advice. So with that, what can you expect from NewView Advice moving forward? I will not be creating NewView Advice episodes anymore, but I'm not entirely sure about the content on my website.
Amanda Durocher [00:05:16]:
I'll definitely be posting things through the end of the year, such as poems and blog posts. I can't help myself. I do love to share and I do love writing. It's also what I feel really drawn to right now is different forms of writing. So I don't see that ending. And the wonderful Jan Guido writes for my website and she has some blog posts that we haven't posted yet. So we'll be posting those along with some other things as well. So if you're interested, you can check out nugu Advice through the end of the year.
Amanda Durocher [00:05:41]:
That will be on my website. I'm not sure about future things for myself, to be honest. This new idea is very much like me in my bubble creating. I love sharing, I love speaking, but I do need some space just to be with me and not to be, like, in the public eye. I'm super excited. I got rid of my TikTok. I got rid of my Instagram. I got rid of everything.
Amanda Durocher [00:06:02]:
I don't like it. There it is. I tried the social. I'm not into it. I still have YouTube. You can follow me there because if I post anything in the future, it would be there. And I also did want to invite anybody who may be interested in staying in contact. You can email me@newviewadvicemail.com that's the email I'm going to be using moving forward.
Amanda Durocher [00:06:24]:
Nuviewadvicegmail.com I'm not sure how many things I want to pay for moving forward, so I'm probably going to get rid of my contact@newviewadvice.com email so if you're interested in emailing me, you can email me@nuviadvicegmail.com and I bring that up because I realize there's so many people who have listened to me throughout the years and I don't know you like you know me and you know the most intimate details of my life and I don't know you. And the truth is, I would love to know you. I would love the chance to get to know you. I would love the chance to know what your favorite episode was, how you found NewView advice, what you think, what you're going through, what is your heart asking you to do. Would you want to be a pen pal friend? That's what I was thinking. I know it's like maybe a fantasy, but I was like, does anybody out there want to be a pen pal? Friday mornings I plan to still respond to emails. I still love communicating with people through email. It's my favorite form of communication with the community because to me it feels like old fashioned letter writing.
Amanda Durocher [00:07:18]:
What a time when people used to write letters to one another in the snail mail. I love it. I think that writing is a beautiful thing. We've talked about so much throughout this podcast. But what I find is that when people email me, it's like people put thought into it, right? Like when you're sending a letter you put thoughts behind your words. And it's beautiful to read people's processes. It's beautiful for me to read people's reflections. It's my favorite form of contact.
Amanda Durocher [00:07:42]:
I found it's not the same through Instagram messenger or through TikTok messenger or through comments. I love emails is what I've come to. I haven't responded to all of them throughout the years. I really do apologize for that trauma. Brain is real and for a long time I didn't have capacity and I was overwhelmed with guilt all the time. To be honest. That's the other thing that came up with this last memory, this last piece of the puzzle that I've mentioned. The other thing that I feel like I've really been able to put down is the guilt.
Amanda Durocher [00:08:09]:
I felt this guilt for existing because I just felt like a bad person and that was tied into this memory because what I find with repressed Memories is that it's almost like in order to repress it, we have to create all these beliefs that almost guard it. So it's like beliefs about ourselves and about the world. To protect ourselves, we create almost like this bubble around ourselves that protect us from what we're trying not to see. And one of the beliefs I created along the way through all the repressed stuff and all the sexual trauma was that I am a bad person. I am bad. There is something inherently bad about me. And I knew that wasn't true, right? As we're healing, we know things, but we're looking to feel those things. And the first step is always the awareness, right? Bringing the self awareness, bringing in the knowledge that you have a belief like that.
Amanda Durocher [00:08:54]:
And then it's working with those pieces of you. Why do I feel this way? Right? And so for me, the self doubt was crippling me. I couldn't figure out why I was still confused, why I still doubted myself. And it was all tied into this experience that finally surfaced, finally felt safe enough. I'm so grateful, so, so grateful that part of me felt safe enough to bring this forward again. Incredibly painful. Had a lot of hard, hard feelings, but also incredibly liberating. It's why I love the inner work.
Amanda Durocher [00:09:22]:
It's why I love the healing journey. Because truthfully, I feel like my healing journey. I've been reflecting on it. I just seen him in these three chapters so far. And the first part was fighting for my life. I was literally fighting for my life because I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. I was struggling with all this pain. And I knew I wanted to live, but I couldn't figure out how to live, how to want to be here.
Amanda Durocher [00:09:44]:
And then I moved through that, and then it moved into fighting for my right to have a voice, finding my voice. What is it like to have a voice? What does Amanda want to say? What are Amanda's thoughts? Not other people's thoughts. And then that moved into freedom. Wanting freedom, realizing where I didn't feel free, where I didn't feel free to be my full self, and realizing I wanted freedom in all areas of my life. And now I feel pretty dang free. And now it's about happiness. And anything that doesn't make me fully happy or make me feel fully alive, I'm just letting it go at this point because life is short. But it's just interesting because that's all happened internally.
Amanda Durocher [00:10:18]:
And it's so funny because anytime I catch up with somebody, they're like, what's new? And in my Head, I'm like, well, everything. But on the outside, it's like, no, nothing. Nothing's really new. Anyways, I just wanted to share that because I do think our healing journeys have chapters so as we're healing, we can look back and see what we were really working through during one chapter. You know, maybe it was a belief or maybe it was a relationship, maybe it was romantic relationships, maybe it was family relationships. But I think it can be helpful to see these chapters we've worked through to honor ourselves. Right? Because sometimes when the healing journey just keeps dragging on and you're just like, oh my gosh, does this ever end? It's important to see how much you've grown and that it's not that you haven't changed or that it's dragging on. It's just that you're in a new chapter that deserves to be honored and deserves for you to move through.
Amanda Durocher [00:11:04]:
Because truthfully, your own happiness and freedom lie on the other side of you, looking at the things you've been through and letting them go through a full honoring through self love, through self compassion, through self forgiveness, through letting go of the blame, the shame, and anything else that you may be holding onto that is not serving you and is holding you back from living life to the fullest. So I hope that makes sense. I hope that's clear. It's so Amanda Logic. The way I've explained this podcast ending, because honestly, this is what happens for me, is like I get this surprise hit, and then I have to do the surprise thing, which is right now in the podcast, to then get the next step. But I just can't see the big picture yet. And that tends to be how my inner process works, is that it's really one step at a time and I won't see the bigger picture probably for like a month. So that's that.
Amanda Durocher [00:11:51]:
Before I wrap up the last episode of new VU advice, I wanted to just give 10 things that I recommend everybody do along their healing journey or their life journey, whatever you want to call it, but 10 things that I think are important and that have helped me along my way and helped me become the woman I am today. And so I'm going to give those, and then I'm going to wrap up the episode and that's it. And I hope to hear from some of you through email. I really do. I'm stoked to maybe hear from some of you, but truthfully, sometimes I throw suggestions out there and I don't hear from anybody, and that's totally fine, too. So no worries. But I do want you to know you can always email me@newview advicemail.com and if I never got to your question and you're still like, but Amanda, I need help with this. Send me an email.
Amanda Durocher [00:12:34]:
Seriously, I have time on my hands through the end of the year. So send me an email and I will get back to you via email. I will answer your question if you send me an email. I thought about emailing everybody who's a question I never answered and that's probably not going to happen. But if you email me, I will get back to you. If it is still 2025, I don't know when you are listening to this. Okay, so let's jump into my last ten piece of advice. They are things I've said a hundred times, but I wanted to just wrap up this episode with a little inspiration, a little you've got this.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:02]:
So let's jump on in. All right, Here are the 10 things that I would recommend to everybody. I think everybody could do more of these things or could know them or remember them or remind themselves of these things. Okay, Here we go. 1. Practice self compassion. Had to say it had to be number one. I think I've recommended in almost every episode of Newbie Advice.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:25]:
Remember that you deserve your own compassion. If you're critical to yourself, be kind to yourself. It will make a difference. It does make a difference. You deserve your own kindness. The world is not always kind, but you have the power to always be kind to you. Second thing I recommend is be bold. I hear so many people apologize for the things that make them great.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:43]:
Stop that. Be bold. Be you. Be authentic. You deserve it. You deserve to be yourself. And we need more beautiful souls being their bold, beautiful selves. So that is my second thing I invite you to do.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:58]:
Third, trust yourself. Learn to trust yourself. If you don't trust yourself because of the trauma you've been through, learn to trust yourself. And remember that mistakes aren't the end of the world. They are growing opportunities. And remember that the things that happened in the past do not define you. You define you today by the choices you make today. And that is part of learning to trust yourself is making choices and not punishing yourself if it doesn't go the way you thought it would, or if it turns into a mistake or if it doesn't go the way you planned.
Amanda Durocher [00:14:25]:
It's okay. It's okay to make choices that aren't perfect. You were never meant to be perfect. You are human. So I invite you to learn to trust yourself. And that leads me into number four, which is forgive yourself. Let go of the past. Let go of the guilt.
Amanda Durocher [00:14:42]:
Let go of the shame. Let go of the burdens. Let go of the beliefs that are holding you back. Let go of the things that you were never meant to carry. You don't need to forgive anybody, but you do need to forgive yourself. You do need to let go of the things that you blame yourself for, of the shame you have carried. But do not put on yourself that it's your responsibility to forgive others for their actions. It's really not.
Amanda Durocher [00:15:07]:
And that is what I have learned throughout these last four years, is that I don't have to forgive anybody. But I'm also not going to hold on to the things that I don't deserve to hold on to anymore because they don't define me. Number five, speak the truth, even when it's hard. That's a big one. I think the world could use more truth. I think the world could use more honesty and could use people with good intentions. So if you have a moment when you're struggling with should I say it or should I not? I invite you to say it. And then that leads me into number six, which is know when to walk away.
Amanda Durocher [00:15:44]:
So sometimes we've spoken our truth, we've said the things and somebody can't hear us or a situation doesn't change. And part of healing and part of life is knowing when to walk away. It's knowing when it doesn't serve you to stay in a situation or in a relationship any longer and being honest with yourself. It's important to know when to walk away, when to choose your own happiness, and if somebody else is still so focused on trying to make your life hell or whatever and you walk away, you're winning in my book. Your heart knows the way, your body knows the way. And I just invite you to be honest with yourself when you know it's time to walk away from something. Number seven is I invite you to continue to bring self awareness to your life. Continue to critically think about yourself in the world.
Amanda Durocher [00:16:29]:
Are the thoughts you have your thoughts? Are they your beliefs? Or did someone tell you you should think like this? The world is filled with people who will fill your mind with beliefs if you let them. It is so important to think for yourself. It is so important to critically think and it is so important to question what you see, especially in a world with AI and crazy videos. Question things. Question if that's true for you. For number eight, I have remember that you are extremely powerful. We often Give our power away so easily. And part of the healing journey is reclaiming our power.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:04]:
Right? I just talked about critical thinking. Part of that does with your power, be careful who you give your mind to. Be careful where you give your thoughts. Be careful who you allow to think for you. Be careful where your beliefs originated from and how they may be harming you. You are so powerful. The world needs more good hearted people sitting in their power. And I know that if you're healing and you're changing and you're growing and you're following your heart, you're one of those good hearted people.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:31]:
And the world needs you to be in your power. The world needs you to stand up for what you believe in. And through your choices. I really believe our choices are our power. And through our choices we have the power to change ourselves and we have the power to change the world. And I know that sounds super cheesy. And when I started this podcast, I thought I was gonna change the world in this big grand way. And the truth is, I did change the world.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:50]:
Cause I changed my world. And I hope I changed somebody else's world along the way. But truthfully, by changing my world, I have changed the world. There is a ripple effect when we step into who we are, when we remember who we are. And small acts of kindness, small acts of power, small acts of authenticity, small acts of truth have a big ripple effect. So they may feel small in the moment, but when you show up in a situation truthful to who you are, people notice. And you give more people the permission to be kind to themselves, to love themselves, to be truthful with themselves and to be who they want to be. And with that, what I've also learned is you could also trigger people.
Amanda Durocher [00:18:27]:
People don't love to look in the mirror and to see that they could make different choices, but that's not yours to carry. Don't take on the burdens. Like I said with the forgiving yourself. Don't take on the burdens of others. Let that shit go. So number nine is follow your heart. Your heart is your own individual compass. I know I say it every episode, but truthfully, follow your heart.
Amanda Durocher [00:18:48]:
It's gonna lead you into situations that seem scary. It's gonna lead you into growth opportunities. It's gonna lead you places where you don't know what that means. That's where I'm at. Like, I've talked about putting this podcast on the shelf. Closing this chapter is huge for me. I have no idea what the rest of my life looks like. I had fantasies and dreams that this would be it, that I'd be doing this forever.
Amanda Durocher [00:19:11]:
But I trust myself. I trust my heart, and I know that it's leading me towards all the things I desire, which is a life full of happiness, a life full of freedom, and a life full of fun. Because at this point in my life, I'm like, those are the things I deserve. I just want to have fun and just love with all my heart. Which leads me into number 10. Love yourself fiercely. You deserve it. And I say fiercely because be protective of yourself.
Amanda Durocher [00:19:35]:
Don't give yourself away too easily. Also, don't guard yourself and not let anybody in, but fiercely protect yourself and your heart, because your heart is worthy of so much love. And the more you learn to love yourself, the more your relationships will blossom and grow and the more that love will be magnetized in your life. But love yourself first. Be a little selfish. It's not a bad thing. You deserve it. It's your life.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:01]:
It's no one else's. Do the things you want to do and love yourself along the way. And with that, that's all I have. Those are the 10 reminders I just wanted to give us all at the end of this Newbie Advice Jo, thank you so much for joining me for this episode and for joining me for New View advice. In general, if you have listened to any episode, if you have read a blog post or a poem, or you watch my Reflection series, or you listen to a meditation or you did some of the journal prompts I have on my website, if you found anything helpful along the way, thank you all so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really hope to hear from some of you via email. If you've been listening for years and you've never reached out, please reach out.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:44]:
I'd love to chat. I'd love to get to know you. I really would. Once again, please send me an email newviewadvice@gmail.com and I'll probably continue to post stuff on my website at newviewadvice.com so if you're looking to stay in the know of what Amanda is up to, keep your eye on newviewadvice.com or my YouTube channel, YouTube.com newviewadvice and I will be sure to let you all know because that's where I would post anything if I was to continue anything moving forward, which I'm just taking time to figure out what my next steps are. So I'm sorry I can't promise you anything or give you any guarantees, but with that. Thank you so much for joining me for the final episode of New View Advice. It has been an honor. It has been a privilege.
Amanda Durocher [00:21:26]:
It has been one of the greatest joys of my life to join you here almost every week. Let's be real. I'm not great at consistency, but so many weeks throughout the past couple years. So thank you again. I'm sending you so much love
