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132: I Can’t Change Him, Now What? The Quiet Strain of Addiction in Relationships
In this episode, I dive into the tough question of when to let go of a relationship, especially when addiction is involved. We explore how even culturally accepted addictions can impact a relationship and cause real harm. I respond to a listener’s question about loving a partner who won’t change, coping when your needs aren’t being met, and the painful tension between the good moments and ongoing hurt.
131: Healing After Betrayal: How Do You Know When to Let Go?
In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about healing after betrayal in a long-term relationship. A year and a half ago, this listener cheated on their girlfriend, and ever since, the relationship has been continued falling apart with no signs of improvement. We explore what it really takes to rebuild trust, how betrayal reshapes both people, and when letting go might be the most compassionate choice.
130: Healing After Female Friendship Breakups
Losing a friendship can be painful and unexpected. In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about how to heal after the end of a female friendship. I explore why these relationships can be difficult, how to process the loss, and why it’s okay that not all friendships last forever. I also touch on the role of childhood wounds and patterns in our connections.
9: How Do I Maintain Independence While Being in a Relationship?
How do you maintain independence while in a long-term relationship? In this episode, Amanda and Kelby unpack the delicate balance between partnership and independence. They open up about moments of feeling small, lost, or even trapped — and how those feelings often stem from within, not from their partners. Through honest conversation and personal stories, they explore what it really takes to maintain a strong sense of self while staying deeply connected.
129: How to Begin Again When Life Feels Unfair - Starting at Square One
In this episode, I answer a listener’s question: “How do we begin again after a major life change?” I dive into the emotions and feelings that come with starting over—whether after a breakup, moving to a new place, or losing friendships. I share my own personal stories of beginning again, from navigating unexpected loss to switching life paths more than once.
8: Why Blaming Men Isn't Helping Your Relationship
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby discuss the dynamics of connection and disconnection within long-term relationships. The episode highlights the role of vulnerability in creating genuine connections with your partner and how small moments of intentional connection can deepen relationships over time. They emphasize that building a strong, loving relationship is about making a conscious effort to connect. They also discuss common obstacles that can lead to disconnection - such as cellphones, work, busy schedules, and more.
7: Sex After the Honeymoon Phase: The Ups & Downs of Sex in Long-Term Relationships
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby discuss the dynamics of connection and disconnection within long-term relationships. The episode highlights the role of vulnerability in creating genuine connections with your partner and how small moments of intentional connection can deepen relationships over time. They emphasize that building a strong, loving relationship is about making a conscious effort to connect. They also discuss common obstacles that can lead to disconnection - such as cellphones, work, busy schedules, and more.
128: Why You Can't Change Someone You Love: Letting Go of Relationships that Aren’t Good for You
In this episode, I answer a question from a listener who is navigating heartbreak after the end of relationship where they believed they could change someone, only to realize they could not. We discuss the question – how do we let go of the potential of someone and accept the truth of the relationship?
6: Connecting with Your Partner: Exploring Connection & Disconnection in Long-Term Relationships
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby discuss the dynamics of connection and disconnection within long-term relationships. The episode highlights the role of vulnerability in creating genuine connections with your partner and how small moments of intentional connection can deepen relationships over time. They emphasize that building a strong, loving relationship is about making a conscious effort to connect. They also discuss common obstacles that can lead to disconnection - such as cellphones, work, busy schedules, and more.
127: Why Talking About Sexual Assault is Hard & Tools to Help You Begin
In this episode, I answer a question from a listener who struggles to speak aloud their experience of sexual assault. I think this is a very common experience for survivors of sexual violence, and I give a few reasons why I believe it is hard for survivors to speak about their experiences of sexual trauma. I also share tools on how you can begin to share your story in ways that may feel safe for you.
5: How Softening in Your Relationship Creates Ease: Embracing the Feminine
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby explore how to soften in long-term relationships. They discuss the journey from a “hardened” state to embracing a softer, more feminine energy within romantic partnerships. The conversation delves into how softening fosters trust, safety, and support. Sharing personal stories and real-life examples, Amanda and Kelby reflect on how their past experiences and healing journeys have helped them let go of control and embrace vulnerability.
126: What to Do When Things Don't Go According to Plan
In this episode, I answer my own question - what do we do when things don’t go according to plan? After a disappointing couple of week’s I found myself needing a reminder about how to pivot when faced with feeling lost and feelings of heartbreak, disappointment, and just like nothing would go my way. I discuss the challenges of suppressed memories, how to pivot after a creative “failure”, not being where I want to be, and how to find the gifts in the tough chapters of life. I also discuss self-doubt and how self-doubt can feel crippling, but you can trust yourself.
4: What is Love? Taking a Closer Look
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby dive into the complexities of arguments within long-term relationships. They discuss how childhood experiences and inner child wounds often resurface during disputes with partners. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness, communication, and compassion in navigating these inevitable misunderstandings.
3: Arguments in Long-Term Relationships: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby dive into the complexities of arguments within long-term relationships. They discuss how childhood experiences and inner child wounds often resurface during disputes with partners. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness, communication, and compassion in navigating these inevitable misunderstandings.
2: How Your Partner Can Trigger (and Help You Heal) Childhood Wounds
In this episode, Amanda and Kelby explore how our romantic partners can trigger and also help us to heal childhood wounds. They share personal insights and experiences on how early life experiences and relationships with our parents can shape romantic relationships.
125: What is EMDR and How EMDR Can Help You on the Healing Journey with Kelly Schooner
In this episode, I welcome special guest Kelly Schooner, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss what is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and how EMDR can help people on their healing journeys. We discuss who EMDR can help, how EMDR can help people with “big T trauma” and also “little T traumas”, the difference between suppression and repression, how EMDR can help people with ADD, and more. We also touch on the question - can you trust an EMDR memory.
1: Introducing Love Under the Scope - Meet Amanda Durocher & Kelby Knutt
In this inaugural episode, Amanda Durocher and Kelby Knutt share why they decided to start this podcast where they will be exploring the nuances and “nitty-gritty” of long-term relationships. They also highlight how this podcast will be a place for open conversations about the often unseen and unspoken challenges within relationships.
124: Feeling Frustrated: What to Do When Overwhelmed with Frustration
In this episode, we discuss the feeling of frustration. Responding to a listener's question about feeling stuck and overwhelmed by frustration, we explore various emotions that often accompany feeling frustrated, such as anger, hopelessness, and disappointment. I talk about the importance of understanding the root causes of our frustration and offer advice on how to process and work through it.
123: Loneliness After an Affair: How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating
In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about how to forgive oneself after cheating in a relationship. This listener is struggling with feelings of loneliness, sadness, and fear, and they feel as though they have to carry this burden and heavy shame by themselves.
122: What Does It Mean if I Fail at Love?
In this episode, I delve into a listener's heartfelt question – what does it mean if I fail at love? This listener is feels like they are getting a second chance at love with an ex, and finds themselves feeling fear arise. They have been in love before and are worried they will “mess up” this new relationship. Through the episode, we explore the intricacies of love, vulnerability, and self-worth, while also emphasizing the importance of self-love and being kind to oneself on the journey to finding meaningful connections.
