36: Healing & Feeling Relationship Resentment: How to Let Go of Resentment
Feelings of resentment in romantic relationships can leave us feeling hopeless and bitter. In this episode, I explore the causes of resentment and how to let go of resentment.
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I answer one question from someone who resents their partner for giving away their cherished possessions, and another question from someone struggling with feeling resentment towards an ex who they have chosen to remain friends with.
Episode References:
Listen to Episode 35: Relationship Communication to learn more about healthy communication and how to create a safe space for tough conversations
Book Recommendations:
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
5:11 Listener Question 1
21:06 Listener Question 2
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This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool called Otter. Please forgive any typos or errors.
Amanda Durocher 0:00
Welcome to New View Advice, a safe place for you to ask your most vulnerable questions about life, relationships, healing, and so much more. I'm your host, Amanda Durocher, and I believe our fears and traumas are often what holds us back from living life to the fullest. Join me here each week as I offer advice on how to move through whatever is holding you back from being your best self. Let's get started. Hey, there beautiful souls. My name is Amanda. And this is New View Advice. If you're new here, this is a healing centered advice podcast. And what I mean by that is that it is my intention to offer you advice on the healing journey. And it is my intention to guide you back to your own heart. I don't believe I have all the answers. I believe you have all the answers you seek, you just may need a little guidance along the way. Thank you for tuning into today's episode. Today we are talking about resentment, and specifically how to heal and communicate feelings of resentment in relationships. So today's questions are one is a romantic partnership. And then one is somebody feeling resentment towards their acts. So today has more of that romantic partnership element. But you can feel resentment in any relationship. I think many people who are listening probably know that you can feel resentment in family structures. So you can feel resentful towards your parents, towards siblings, you can feel resentment in friendships. But today we're going to be focusing on the romantic element. But I wanted to mention that because I think that a lot of the tools and tips we talked about today can be used across different relationships. So resentment can be very common in relationships, and often occurs when we bottle up our feelings, and don't communicate how we're truly feeling. So I find in my own life, I become resentful when I am for too long acting as I think other people want me to act. For example, if that's just not doing everything I want to be doing, I find that personally, in my own journey, the guidance I get can feel really selfish. So as somebody who's very creative, a lot of my creative endeavors involve a lot of alone time and a lot of time. So I can want to just hunker down for days, and just be in my creative bubble and really not be disturbed. But I can feel guilty for that. So then I don't do that. Even though that's what my heart's asking me to do. I find in my own life, because I feel guilty about that about wanting to just be creative and just be left alone, to be honest, that I ignore that I ignore my heart's calling. So then I will just go about life the way I quote unquote think I should be so going to the grocery store, going to dinner with people having interactions with people and I can feel inside me that's often for me at this point when I can feel resentment start to build. So the resentment builds, because I'm ignoring my own feelings. I'm ignoring my needs. I'm ignoring those callings within me, I'm ignoring my heart. So at this point in my life, that's the most common time resentment can arise in my life. And when that arises, I know that that's me. I know, it's not the people around me, I'm very grateful. And I'm very fortunate to have a very supportive environment, I have a wonderful support system. And all the people in my life want me to be as happy. And none of these people ever asked me not to be creative. It's always an inner critic and inner sabotager and inner Punisher and an interfere that would cause me to act differently. So I want to offer that example from my own life because I still can struggle with resentment towards people. And as I said, I can really see in my own life, how that resentment is a really a resentment towards myself, I can start resenting people outside of me or the things I'm being asked to do, because who I'm really resenting as myself, and I'm presenting myself for not following the whispers of my heart. And I offer that here at the beginning. Because if you are feeling resentment in your life, I invite you to explore if it's really a resentment that you're feeling towards yourself, are you breaking your own boundaries? Are you ignoring those heart whispers because I think that's often times a key to resentment. Because when we start feeling resentment towards others, we need to ask ourselves where we allowed our boundaries to be broken. What are we not doing? What signs did we ignore? What feelings are we not feeling? So I find that men can also rise when we don't allow ourselves to feel anger. Specifically, it can really be with any emotions, but people have a really hard time feeling anger. And so resentment can arise when we don't allow ourselves to process that anger and then it builds us resentment because resentment can have a slight edge to it, right? It can have a anger feel to it, or it can build to anger and then it can end up and then we can end up lashing out in an unhealthy way because we were actually suppressing a deeper anger. So this is just a quick intro. I'll talk more about resentment throughout the episode but I just wanted to give an example of resentment from my own life. So today I'll be answering two questions from listeners one whose partner gave away items that the listener found sentimental and now if you As resentment building daily towards their partner, and the second is from someone who feels resentful towards an ex that they have chosen to remain friends with, let's jump on into talking about resentment.
Amanda Durocher [listener question] 5:11
Me and my partner got into an argument recently, she got so upset, she left the house for a bit. But when she came back to get her stuff, she brought a friend and she gave away my items to her friend that had a lot of sentimental value to me, items that had helped me through childhood traumas. Eventually, me and my girlfriend made up, but her friend refuses to give me back the items my girlfriend gave away to her. And the only way for me to get them back is to fight her boyfriend. I know that's not the correct way. But because of all of these events happening, I feel so much resentment towards my girlfriend for even considering giving something so close to me away. I don't know how not to feel so bitter towards her. It's a daily thing now. Any advice? Thank you so much for this question. I'm so sorry for the situation you experienced. And for these tough feelings you are moving through right now. resentment and bitterness are really uncomfortable feelings. So I completely understand why you are reaching out and why you're looking for advice. Because if we don't move through these feelings, they tend to build in us and they tend to get bigger. So you can be on like level one of resentment. But if you don't process it, deal with it, you can move up right to like level 10 is how I'm seeing it that it just becomes greater and greater and greater. So I just want to say I'm sorry for the situation. I know, it's really hard when people we love hurt us because we don't want to just cut them off. But it doesn't mean we don't have to express the pain we've felt and how their actions have hurt us. So the first thing I wanted to mention is that resentment and bitterness often occur because we have unresolved feelings and things that need to be set. My question for you is how much of this have you expressed to your girlfriend, and is there more that needs to be said about what happened. So what I find happens in relationships is that a few different things can occur. One can be that when we argue one person can kind of rush the resolution, oftentimes the person who did the painful action, and there can be this pressure to not bring it up again, this pressure that this is done, this is healed, this is done, boom, boom. And the truth is, it's not healed till it's healed. It's not done till it's done. You can say, Okay, this is done, I forgive you, but not truly feel that inside. So I invite you to explore if this feels like something you're not supposed to bring up again, I also find that sometimes when somebody does something hurtful, they can feel shame when it's brought up again, so they can fall apart and feel a lot of hard feelings. And this can cause the person who was hurt to not bring it up or not want to go there or not want to make their partner feel bad. For example, with cheating, which we talked a lot about last month, what can happen is that someone can cheat. And then when they tell the person, they can completely fall apart, they can stop, they can cry. And then the other person can't feel their feelings in the moment. What often happens in relationships. And I noticed this in my relationship is that when one of us is falling apart, or one of us is having hard feelings, the other one is able to be there. And to hold that steady space for the other one to have hard feelings. It's really hard for both people to have hard feelings at the same time, nothing happens. And I also think there's just like I said, there's this, I'm seen as an infinity loop where if somebody's having the hard feelings, the other one's able to hold the space. And if that person's having hard feelings, and the other person is able to hold the space, that dynamic can happen a lot. So if there's one person who predominantly has the hard feelings, then sometimes there's often another person who's not, quote unquote allowed to have the hard feelings. It's not true, both need to feel their hard feelings. But it can create this dynamic where when the person who doesn't normally get to have the hard feelings, has hard feelings, the other person might not be able to hold the space or might fall apart as well, and not be able to hold the space for it, if that makes sense. So I bring this up, because I don't know if you relate to either of those. But to me, if you have resentment building, my guess is you haven't communicated enough about this, or you haven't gotten clarity about it within yourself. But there are feelings that you need to feel. So to me, resentment is tied to bitterness. And both these feelings are oftentimes covering another hard feeling. So as I mentioned in my life, when I can feel resentful, or bitter about what I'm doing, it's often because it's covering the guilt I haven't looked at, or the shame that I feel or the anger that I feel. So when I'm not being creative, and I'm doing other things that I don't want to be doing but I feel like I quote unquote have to be doing I become resentful. But that resentment is building because the root below that, that I'm not doing the creativity, the root of that is oftentimes for me guilt and fear, and shame, and sometimes anger, because sometimes we have to do other things. And that can make me angry. I mentioned that because I invite you to start journaling, because I want you to become really clear on all the feelings you have about this situation. So what feelings are hidden under the bitterness and resentment? Are you angry? Are you sad? Do you feel betrayed? Do you feel taken advantage of allow yourself to journal about how you feel. And this may take multiple journal sessions, I would say to do this for a week, before you say anything to your partner. This would help you to become intentional and clear about what you need to communicate to your partner about as well as help you process these feelings because journaling really helps us to actually move these stuck feelings. And I feel like resentment and bitterness occur when we have stuck feeling. So that stuck guilt that stuck anger, that stuck sadness, that stuck betrayal, and they become a blanket over it, because they're assigned to us that there's something to look at. I think resentment is oftentimes there when a boundary has been broken. So we can become resentful because oftentimes, we become resentful when we don't listen to that voice of our heart. So some questions I have some suggestions for journaling would be one, how do I feel that my girlfriend gave my sentimental items away? Allow yourself to free right? You can be really angry about this allow yourself to move those feelings to if I could tell my girlfriend anything without her getting upset with me, what would I want her to know about how I am feeling right now. And explore the things that you wish you could say, and allow yourself in this space to really free right? Like if you need to write like fuck you to your girlfriend in this space, allow yourself that this is a free space to just allow those really angry thoughts. It was really sad thoughts, it was really mean thoughts out on the page, rather than out at your girlfriend. My journal is filled with some very explicit words. And oftentimes I need to write these I need to just get these feelings out these judgments, these projections, so that I can then get to the root of what I need to communicate with people. And three, I suggest you journal where do I feel this bitterness in my body? Where do I feel this resentment in my body? Is there any other emotion there as well, I find when we focus on our body one, it helps to ground us so many of us aren't grounded in our bodies, it's important to be in the body, life happens in the body. The body is so important. And we often ignore it. And we often ignore that there that these emotions are pinging us in the body. So like drop in and breathe into that resentment? Do you feel it in your gut? Do you feel in your heart? Do you feel it in your throat? Does your throat feel constricted? When you think about this? Does your heart feel closed? Or sad? Does your gut get a feeling like an anxious feeling, allow yourself to drop into the body and just work with that. And what I mean by that is ask it questions, connect with your body, connect with yourself connect with the emotions that are sitting in your body because these emotions live in the body. So another thing I wanted to mention is that my guess is that trust was broken in this action through this action your girlfriend took of giving away your stuff and how it was handled, and how you weren't able to just get it back. And I would communicate that with your girlfriend. So again, you may want to journal about it first, if you're having a lot of feelings, because you don't want this resentment, this bitterness to come out at your girlfriend because that's not going to help the situation. So you want to get really clear on that like was trust broken. And then you want to communicate that. And you want to if you listen to last week, I did an episode on relationship communication. And if you listen to what I talked about, I feel statements, because you want to say I feel like I can't trust you now. Because trust is a foundation for relationships. So you want to be able to communicate with your partner that this trust may feel broken because it's something that will have to be rebuilt. And that might be something that you're feeling this resentment about is that maybe you guys chose to just let it go and everything to go back to normal. But everything isn't back to normal. Some things were torn apart and broken internally throughout this act and can definitely be put back together can be put back together in a healthier way through learning how to communicate better through learning how to set boundaries with your partner through learning how to figure out what your own boundaries are right? Like if this happened again. Would you stay again or would you choose to leave because it happened twice. You are able to grow and learn through this experience, but it doesn't mean everything's just okay. Just because you guys got back together, there might be some trust that needs to be rebuilt. So I invite you to listen to that relationship communication episode, for some advice about how to create a safe space to communicate with your partner and how to use those I feel statements that I think would be really helpful for you, when you do get to the point where you're ready to communicate with your girlfriend, about how this situation made you feel and the feelings you're still having to this day. And so this leads to my next piece of advice that sounds like you need to set some boundaries in your relationship, you probably didn't think you needed to tell her to not give your stuff away. But I would be clear to start communicating more boundaries about your wants and needs in the relationship because it sounds like she may need you to be very clear with her. I also think it's important that you communicate clearly how this made you feel. As I mentioned, I think that you communicating your feelings will be really important here. Because as I mentioned in last week's episode, if you say something like I can't believe you gave my stuff away, you're so mean, you're so awful, you're this, you're that it doesn't help the situation, people feel attacked, they become defensive. So you want to communicate how you feel, how this situation made you feel, I feel like our trust was broken, when you gave myself away, I feel really hurt that you gave myself away. I feel sad that you gave my stuff away, and I don't have it anymore. I'm working through these feelings. You just want to communicate your inner world because your girlfriend can't read your mind. And you can't read hers. So my guess is there's a lot of unresolved feelings around this incident on both sides. She may feel a lot of shame and guilt, or she may still be angry at you. I'm not sure. But what's happening is I think this resentments building, because neither of you are talking about how you're feeling. Neither of you are talking about the root of your problems. And like I said, my guess is you tried to go back to how things were before and you're finding you're not able to do that. And the resentment is the voice of your heart. And the voice of our heart isn't always butterflies and rainbows the voice your heart is telling you that this resentments there. Because there's unresolved feelings, there's boundaries that need to be set, there's communication that needs to be had in order for you to feel safe in this relationship. Because that's what can happen when trust is broken is that the safety is taken away, which is why trust is so important because safety is inherent for us as humans. So you need to ensure that you are creating a relationship that feels safe for you to be in. They feel safe for you to feel your feelings and safe for you to be yourself. And also something I just wanted to mention again is that your partner may have a lot of feelings as well. So it may be hard for her, maybe hard for your girlfriend to hear what you have to say. But it's still important for you to communicate it. So it's important for you to have this tough conversation, it's important for you to have this hard conversation. And it's important for you to leave the conversation if emotions are getting too high. It's important for you to create the safe space for yourself. And to really consider your own wants and needs through this. What do you want to communicate? What do you need in order for this relationship to flourish, your wants and needs are just as important as your girlfriends. So you just want to make sure you create that safe space. And as I mentioned, last week's episode can really help you with some tools for that. And I just wanted to mention, I'm really sorry that your stuff was taken from you. I too, have sentimental items that have helped me throughout my healing journey. For example, I wear rings that are really spiritual to me really symbolic really healing for me, my rings are representative of where I'm at in my healing journey. And I bring this up because throughout my journey, I have lost these rings. And I always have to grieve them so I have to feel the feelings. But I haven't always found them. So that requires me to grieve it but I take that as an opportunity to buy myself a new ring that represents a new chapter in my life. And at this point, when I leave lose a ring, I'm just like, oh, I guess it's time for a new chapter and I'm able to let them go quicker. But the first ring that meant the world to me that I lost broke my heart. It felt like a piece of me left because that ring was a reminder of the journey. I'm on a reminder of who I aspire to be my best self my highest self. And I just mentioned that because I understand how hard it is to lose the sentimental items, but I invite you to explore if there's new items you could buy that could represent the new chapter and it sounds to me like you've been on your healing journey. These items helped you through healing from tough situations from the past from traumas and I invite you to explore the idea of bringing a new item into your life because I also find sometimes these older items hold some of that energy of the past pain and trauma, and it can be healing to let them go. I know it can be really hard for us as humans to let things go, the material objects, but the more I am on my journey, the more I am asked by my higher self to let go of items that I once found imperative and I once found myself needing and it's just another time to explore that relationship with yourself and to rely on yourself for the comfort that that item once brought you to know that everything that item held is within you. So the comfort, the love, the support that item had is within you. It's a time where you can explore bringing a new item into your life that can represent this new chapter. So I just wanted to mention that if that's helpful, if not just ignore it. As always take what resonates. Leave what doesn't, and I am sending you so much love. Thank you so much for this question.
Amanda Durocher [listener question] 21:06
I discovered your podcast recently, when my boyfriend broke up with me again two weeks ago, he's going through a non diagnosed depression due to a long term injury that of course affected our relationship. He would say he is not well on his own and doesn't have the energy to continue to be together. He tried, but it doesn't work. He cannot be with me. I found myself writing about this pain, I'm going through and discovered a feeling that made me realize I might have a child abandonment, trauma and also something emotional. Maybe that is why I get so attached to people that don't need me as much as I need them. Because I feel in total pain when he seems fine, at least about the breakup, not about his state itself. I still see him sometimes as we said we would be friends. But it makes me feel resentful that I feel so much when an after I see him. We are neighbors in a small village and have been together with issues for a year and a half. It was always the same issue. He didn't know if he wanted to be with me or not. Or if he loved me enough, etc. I love him. And I don't know how to get over it. Any advice? Thank you. Thank you so much for this question. I'm so sorry. You're feeling resentful and heartbroken. Breakups are never easy. And I think the on again, off again, relationships can be especially painful, because it's hard to allow ourselves to fully move on when we have hope that the relationship may not be fully over. And I think the cycle of the high of getting back together the low of breaking up, I think it can be a bit addictive. But it can also be so painful to experience. Because you're allowing your heart to open then close, open and close. It's a very painful experience than navigate. So I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that this is a situation you find yourself in. So for you, I think it's important for you to decide if you're going to give it one more go and ask him if he wants to try again. Or if you are ready to fully let this go. I believe only you have the answers of what's best for you in this situation. But I do want to mention that if he has communicated that he does not want to be with you, then you should take him at his word. It is not your responsibility to beg him to be with you, you may be able to see his best self, you may have great memories together, you may be able to see him for his true self for who He is beyond this depression beyond this pain, you may be able to see his true heart. But if he is communicating that he does not have the space for you, then I invite you to really listen to him at his word. I find that when we love someone, we can ignore their wounded self, because we can see their best self. But it's important to take people out their words, and also to be clear with your own word and to speak honestly from your heart.
So you mentioned that this patterns happened multiple times where he'll communicate that he can't be with you. And I just invite you to really reflect on this before going into this relationship. Again. I know that wasn't part of the question, but I want to mention that because part of what I think is happening here is that you are not respecting your own boundary and it is creating resentment within you. From this question. I would say that your body through the feeling of resentment is communicating to you that it can no longer do this anymore. So you need to make a choice. And that choice is try again or fully let go. But as I mentioned, I never like to tell anybody what to do, but I would really sit with what he has communicated. So if he's communicating, he doesn't have space to love you. He doesn't have space for this relationship. Even though you may see glimmers of him wanting to have space he's communicating that he doesn't have space. So I just invite you to really look at the signs and what is being communicated to you. If you Choose to fully let him go, then I think you need to end the friendship. And I say this because you say that you feel like you're in pain when you see him and after. And I really think that's your body trying to communicate to you how you feel a boundary that needs to be set, and feelings that need to be processed. I think it's important to listen to your body, it's important to pay attention to those painful experiences, and to redirect where your energy is going redirect the energy you're putting outside of yourself. And I'm thinking that you're putting too much energy outside of yourself. And what you really should be doing is spending that time within. So the time you spend with this x, I invite you to spend that time on yourself, journaling, meditating, taking yourself out on dates, taking yourself to do things that you love to do by yourself, learning to love yourself alone, I also find an on again off again, relationships, it can be because we're afraid to be alone. So the idea of being with somebody is better than being alone. So we allow ourselves to play out this painful pattern. But as I mentioned, it's a painful pattern. It's very painful to be an on again, off again relationships. And I invite you to explore why you feel like that is what you deserve. Because I believe you deserve someone who's consistent in your life. Somebody who is able to grow with you with where you're at, I believe you deserve somebody who's able to support you. And you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you harmony, love, support, and healing and growth rather than pain. It sounds like it may be hard for you not to see this person because you live in the same village. But I really believe space and time will allow you to heal and it sounds like when you still see each other. It does not allow you to fully heal, I find that this can be really important for healing from breakups. Breakups are a grieving journey, as I've mentioned many times before. And we need to grieve the end of the relationship. And when we do on again off again, relationships or when we remain quote unquote friends with this person, but still love the person. This can make it really hard to move through grief. I wanted to mention this too, because I think when I talk about grieving somebody, a lot of people are like, well, I don't want to cut this person out of my life forever. And grieving somebody doesn't require cutting somebody out forever. But it does require the space to allow you to move through the grieving journey. An example I gave to somebody in my life the other day was parents, when their children go to college grieve that relationship, they move through a grieving journey of what it was like to have their children live with them for 18 years. And when they go to college, the whole thing changes. Does this mean they let go of their children? Does this mean they never see their children again? No, but they're grieving what the relationship once was with the dynamic What was with the family structure once was and how it is evolving into something else. And it doesn't mean they're not happy for their children, but they have to allow themselves those feelings in order to allow a new relationship to arise. So I'm not saying you can't ever be friends with your ex. But I believe that you have to give yourself the space to move through this grieving journey to move through the five stages of grief, which are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. And when you move through the process, then you will know what's best for you. And you'll know Oh, I don't feel pain when I see this person anymore. Or you'll decide to set a boundary and be like, You know what, that was never good for me. And I'm choosing not to partake in that relationship anymore. That will become easy and clear. After you move through the grieving process. Sometimes we try to rush those decisions. But clarity can come when we allow ourselves to feel the feelings. So many of us want all the answers right now want to know what's best for us right now. And it's one step at a time. What is your heart asking from you. And I think your heart is communicating to you through this pain through this resentment, that there are feelings that need to be felt and boundaries that need to be set to allow you to fully grieve this relationship. And I wanted to mention that in on again, off again, relationships, we often end up staying in the denial and the bargaining phases of the grieving process, because we are in denial that the relationship is actually over. And we bargain with ourselves about how to make it work as friends or that it could change later or that it's not really over. It's just for like a short time. And we often need space from this person, as I mentioned in order to fully move through these stages, because as I mentioned, this relationship is going to change when you allow yourself to grieve it. It doesn't mean they're necessarily going to leave your life but it will evolve into something else. So I feel like you need to take space from this relationship. I'm sorry to hear your ex is moving through a depression from an injury. I have gone through seasons of depression in my own life and it is very, very hard. And I just want to honor what he's moving through but I also want to To emphasize that it is not your responsibility to fix him or to chase him. It sounds like he may have an avoidant attachment style, because he keeps leaving the relationship. And you may have an anxious attachment style because you feel like you need him. And that need is a very common within an anxious attachment style. To learn more about attachment styles, if you're interested, I really recommend the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachael Heller, this can be really helpful for you because it goes into different behaviors that each attachment style often exudes. And as I mentioned, you're feeling that you need someone more than they need you is very common for people with an anxious attachment style. But you should read the book, and there's a test in it to find out for yourself. And I'll link the book in the show notes at WWW dot newView advice.com/ 36. Because then you could take the test and you could even ask this person to take the test or in your next relationship, you could ask them to take the test. But it's a great test to figure out your attachment style to figure out your partner's attachment style. My partner and I both took the test and we were able to become clear on our attachment styles. We volunteered the secure attachment styles now but as we took the test, we were able to recognize that I used to be an avoidant anxious attachment style. So I used to go on both ends. And he used to be an anxious attachment style. And it was great to see our growth, we were able to see the patterns we used to play out. So I think that's a very helpful book as well, when entering relationships, when in relationships, and when you're single in on your own self self love Journey, because then you can become conscious of the ways you act in relationships. I think it's great, you're becoming aware of your childhood patterns and possible traumas. This is so important for us because it allows us to create new patterns that we could not create without the awareness and acknowledgement of what we experienced in our childhoods. This takes a long time, many beliefs and patterns from childhood are very ingrained in us. So working with a therapist, journaling, meditating and creating self care rituals were really help you with this while grieving the end of this relationship. And also, while bringing awareness to these childhood patterns and these wounded places within you. My biggest piece of advice for you is, like I said, to get more space from this person, even if you can't have 100% space, start to slowly disengage as much as possible, because space will allow you to see things clearer. And if you're meant to be together, then the universe will bring you back together, I truly believe that. But if you're playing out unhealthy patterns, right now, that's not good for either of you. And who knows, maybe down the road, both of you will have done more self work, and you'll come back together and it'll be entirely new relationship. But I think sometimes we put too much pressure on the here and now. And we need to allow those next steps within our heart to arise. So I think you need to take some you time and really get to know yourself, really be with yourself, really learn to love yourself. You mentioned that needing others. And I'm glad you're bringing awareness to some patterns about where that may be originating from. But I find when we need others, it's because we really need ourselves, we really need to start acknowledging ourselves, we really need to be with ourselves and with those parts of us, that we may be afraid to look at maybe afraid to sit with those hard feelings, those feelings of abandonment, those feelings of feeling unloved, have unsupported. And we need to sit with our own heart. And we need to acknowledge the pain and allow ourselves to comfort ourselves. And if this relationship doesn't work out, I just want to promise you that there is someone else out there for you. There is someone who is going to love you and cherish you, you deserve someone who doesn't make you question the relationship you deserve someone who supports you. You deserve somebody who sees all the beauty you have to offer the relationship you have to offer them and you have to offer this world. You are a beautiful and kind and you will find someone who sees the best parts of you. But I invite you to start seeing that beauty within yourself first because the more you recognize that you are magnificent that you are worthy of love and that you are worthy of being happy and joyful, the less you will feel like you need others more than they need you. And you'll find that you don't need anyone because the love for yourself will be so great. This doesn't mean you won't invite someone to share a life with you. But the more you love you the more you attract someone who respects and loves you too. The saying is true. We can only love others as much as we love ourselves. I hope something in this answer was helpful. I'm sending you so much love today Angel
Amanda Durocher [outro] 34:33
Thank you again for tuning in to another episode of New View Advice. As always, I am so grateful to have these conversations with you. Each week I found this conversation to be healing from my own heart. So I hope you found something throughout this episode to be helpful or healing for you as well. If you haven't already, I invite you to leave a review through Apple podcasts reviews are really helpful to bring more people to the podcast and it's a great way to show your support of the podcast. If leaving a review is intimidating for You please just Comment your favorite episode that would be super helpful for me as well to know what episodes resonate with people and what conversations we want to continue having. So if there's an episode in particular you really enjoyed. I invite you to leave that in the comments as well as a five star review. This would be so helpful if you have an iPhone you can open the apple podcast app and go to the new view advice page, scroll to the bottom and there will be a place for you to leave a rating and a review. Thank you again for tuning in to another episode of new view advice. As always, I hope I was able to offer you a new view on whatever you may be going through. sending you all my love. See you next time.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
